all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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