she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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