The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
