Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize