He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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