ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
