How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
