i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
