Did you just see the Batmobile???
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
