Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
