I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
