Jerry, you need to find god
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize