I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
