stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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