never play flip cup with pint glasses
well most of my day revolves around power hour
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
