She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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