there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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