escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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