it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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