Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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