I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
