You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
