Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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