i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
