hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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