Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
