I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
