I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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