Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize