why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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