You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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