If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
