ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
