last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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