If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize