and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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