Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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