Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
