Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
