Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
