I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
