Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
