What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
