I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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