Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So here I am, sexting at work.
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