I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
