theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
