Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.

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(518): View more from New York

What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.

Fav 2 2633 862
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(323): View more from California

I totes stole your whore crown.

(239): View more from Florida

With great power comes great responsibility.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy

Fav 15 2028 1346
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(386): View more from Florida

I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.

Fav 13 2094 1889
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(314): View more from Missouri

I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.

Fav 3 1559 847
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(602): View more from Arizona

I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.

Fav 11 1145 1413
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(+61): View more from Australia

Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running

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