A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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