Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I don't deserve a penis
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
