this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize