There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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