Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
