wanna go halves on a baby?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
