It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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