i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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