Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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