After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Everyone says I win the strip club
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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