We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Boobs speak an international language.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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