I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
