There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize