It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
