scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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