I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
