i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
