this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
