You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
