Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
