I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize