I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
