That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
