his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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