I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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